


About Flowers and Bees

by ValkyrieSigyn



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Flowers and bees, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 21:29:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyrieSigyn/pseuds/ValkyrieSigyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm following the great kinkyhobbitconfessions on tumblr, and there was one that gave me this fantastic and slightly cracked idea - that most likely, Fili and Kili asked their uncle were babies comes from. And because we've all been there, I had to write.</p>
            </blockquote>





	About Flowers and Bees

”Uncle Thorin! Uncle Thorin!!”

Thorin turned hastily as he heard his nephews call for him, wondering why they seemed to be in such haste. “What is it?” he asked as they came running through the kitchen door to where he was preparing a meal of some rabbits he had hunted this morning. The two young boys seemed to be utterly confused and Kili held his small wooden bow tightly while Fili twinned his wood sword absently between his hands – usually they should be high and low, trying to win some sort of battle with these.

“It’s something we don’t understand!” Kili sighed and looked at his uncle like he expected him to read their minds.

“So why don’t you tell me about what is confusing you?” Thorin asked and left the rabbits on the desk and sat down on a chair.

“We tried to ask mum, but she just… Went silent before she started talking about bees and flowers…” Fili mumbled and crossed his arms. “Maybe she doesn’t know!”

“We just asked about where babies come from…” Kili said low and looked almost guilty. “We thought she knew…”

Thorin’s face froze – he was sure he hadn’t been that young when he asked about these things. Or, he had never asked; he had seen horse breeding a few times and guessed it worked the same way, and when he started to find a certain interest in the girls at his age, his father pulled him aside to inform him about the matter. And now he wondered how he should explain this in a simple and innocent way to his nephews.

It felt like he was thinking for eternities, but it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds since Fili and Kili didn’t get time to get restless. “So that is what you wonder about?” he asked kindly, hoping his face wasn’t blushing.

“Yes.” Both of them said, looking expectantly at their uncle with big and shiny eyes and small, innocent smiles.

“Well… To make a baby, you need a Mum and a Dad…” Damn, did he start the wrong way now? He cleared his throat, hoping that they didn’t bust him in being nervous and he did his best to look calm. “The Mum has a baby seed, but to make the seed grow into a baby, she needs a seed from the Dad. Sometimes the Dad has one for her, and when he gives it to the Mum, they will have a baby. It’s not that different from flowers and bees.”

“Really?” Fili stared at their uncle with big eyes. “How does he give it to her?”

Damned.

“In a very special way I will tell you about when you get older.” Thorin said and looked away for a moment.

“But where does the Mum keep her seed?” Kili asked, totally unaffected.

“In her belly.” Well, that was easy.

“Is that where the baby grows?” Kili asked again.

“It is.”

“Must be hard to eat, then.” Kili stared at Thorin – the worst thing in the world, to not be able to eat – in Kili’s opinion.

“Now, did you understand now?” Thorin asked with a smile – well, it wasn’t that bad, after all.

“Yes! Thank you Uncle Thorin!” They smiled and got up to run out.

Thorin let a long sigh out – well, it wasn’t that bad, it could have been worse. He returned to the rabbits and thought that he should have talk with Dis about this – it was her children, not his, and it wasn’t the thing he was most keen to talk to children about.

In the next moment the boys came back in again, panic on their face. “UNCLE THORIN! MITTEN IS IN TROUBLE!”

Thorin got up on his legs, wondering what that cat was doing now – always some sort of trouble! He followed them out, only to find it in the flower bed – with a male cat on top. He couldn’t do anything else than laughing at the sight.

“What is it uncle? You must help her!” Kili said, close to panic.

“Don’t be afraid – they’re…” Thorin started but just laughed.

“What are they doing?” Fili asked, still looking worried.

“They’re making kittens.” Thorin said and patted his shoulder. “Now, go playing.” He smiled and headed back inside.

“Is he giving the Daddy seed to her?” Fili asked and Thorin froze in his tracks. Damn.

“…Yes…” Thorin rolled his eyes – that boy was too clever for his own good.

“Why is she hissing?? Does he hurt her?! I’ll take him with the bow!!!” Kili looked like he was willing to give his life for the cat as he aimed with the bow.

“KILI NO!”


End file.
